Your left hand is adorned with a beautiful ring and the well-wishes are as free-flowing as the champagne. You know you should be doing something to start planning your nuptials, but you’re not sure where to begin? Does this sound familiar to you?

This is the time where most couples often panic-book venue viewings, ensuring every weekend is filled for the foreseeable future.  While, if you’re lucky, this can be fortuitous, it is also time consuming if you haven’t considered some clear parameters. 

One of the most common things I hear when I first speak with a couple is that they feel overwhelmed.  And it’s absolutely understandable – even if you’ve helped a friend plan their wedding, yours will be a wholly unique experience, because as a couple you are equally unique and your wedding celebration should be a testament to who you are and your shared values.

In the words of my previous bride Liv, who reached you to me in what can be best described as a blind panic, in the final weeks leading to their mid-summer celebration – you don’t know what you don’t know.

Take a breath, you’ve got time.

There are countless planning tools on the market, but setting some intentions before you begin the heavy lifting of planning will ensure that you don’t get lost in the process and create a cookie-cutter wedding that doesn’t resonate with who you are or the way you want to celebrate the momentous beginning of married life.

Before you start creating spreadsheets and researching suppliers, give some considered thought to what you want your wedding day to feel like, the memories you hope to create. Take your time – this is going to inform every decision you make going forwards. 

Light a scented candle, pour yourself a glass of wine and begin with the questions below.

The Big Picture – no need to write your answers down, but take some time to consider each point in turn

How do you and your fiancé spend your time together?

• Are you foodies, are Michelin star restaurants your passion? Do you love exclusive cocktail bars or hearty Sunday lunches in cosy gastro pubs after a long walk?

• Did you meet at a gig and now live music is your passion?  Do you dance together, do you have a favourite band, do you do your wellies and head to a festival each year?

• Are you pub quiz enthusiasts? Scrabble masters?  Do you game together, would you keep your cool in an escape room? Would you be their ‘phone a friend’?

• Do you work out together?  Take impromptu road trips?  Is a day in a spa with couples massage your idea of bliss?

• When you think about meeting your partner at the top of the aisle, visualise looking into each other’s eyes and committing your lives to each other – how does it make you feel?

As a couple, who do you spend the most time with?

Mutual friends? Family? Your sports team? School friends? Dog-walking pals?

What are you most excited about on your wedding day?

On your 10 Year Anniversary…

When you are looking at your wedding photos, what feelings do you hope they will conjure?

What memories do you hope to cherish from the celebration?

• A feeling of togetherness – bringing all the generations of your families together to start your life together?
• Dancing til dawn at the greatest party of your lives – think the last day of uni + Ibiza + Glastonbury rolled into one?
• The most incredible meal of your life; breaking bread and making toasts with your closest friends, sharing memories and making new ones over a banquet that feels like it never ends
• The most beautiful day of your life? Setting trends and taking stunning photos of your mind-blowingly stylish day that people still talk about in decades to come?
• Something else, that is uniquely you?

What words do you hope your guests use when they describe your wedding?

Fun? Elegant? Romantic? Beautiful? Wild? Rustic? Rocking? Chilled? Relaxed? Glamourous? Sweet? Bohemian? Traditional? Individual? Alternative? Stylish?

As you work your way through the planning process, you are going to get ‘stuck’ at some point; it happens to every couple.

When you’ve completed this, sleep on it; give it a weekend even.

When you come back and re-read your answers – what insights have they given you? Let these answers inform the decisions you make going forwards, especially when it comes to prioritising where your budget will be spent.